Are you like myself, a freelance web designer? Are you planning a dinner party but haven’t had a web design client in 6 weeks? We’ve all been there – and I’m here to help.
There’s no reason why eating on a freelance web designer’s budget should be any less edifying than eating on, say, the budget of the Sultan Of Brunei. It’s just a matter of shop-sense and improvisation.
Shop-sense: either shoplift your main ingredients or buy them somewhere extremely cheap… such as Lidl.
Improvisation: Exactly what it says… improvise. Fancy some oysters for instance? Yes, of course you can’t afford them: and maybe you’re too scared to nick them. Don’t worry. There’s a free alternative if you live by the sea. They’re called Limpets, an abundant supply of which you’ll find clinging to any pier or sea defence wall worth its name. Turmeric and cumin a bit pricey? What’s wrong with crumbled up earth? You get the idea.
The following set-piece menu is from the Delia Smith Cordon Bleu Cookbook. It’d impress your guests but would set you back at least two website clients. Impress those same guests with the equivalent menu prepared from freelancer ingredients, however, and you’d have enough money left out of your last clients deposit to buy fifteen bottles of cider and a scratchcard.
• 12 oysters, opened and on the half shell • a handful of rock salt • 3 shallots • 1 stick celery • 225g spinach • 115g butter, softened • tablespoon chopped parsley • tablespoon chopped chervil • 2 tablespoons fresh white breadcrumbs • tablespoon Pernod • dash of tabasco • dash of wocestershire sauce • salt and freshly ground pepper
COQ AU VIN
• 2 kg free range chicken cut into 8 joints • 25g butter • tablespoon pine-nut oil • 225g unsmoked streaky bacon in one piece • 16 button onions • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 2 sprigs fresh thyme • 2 bay leaves • 725ml red wine • 225g dark gilled mushrooms • chopped parsley to garnish • salt and freshly milled black pepper
• 64 limpets, opened and on the half shell • a few shakes of Saxo salt • a small onion • a bit more onion • 225g cabbage • 115g Better’n’Butter (Lidl) • tablespoon chopped grass • tablespoon chopped ferns • 2 tablespoons Lidl Yummywhite breadcrumbs • 5 melted Fisherman’s Friends • dash of Vitakrone Tomato Ketchup • dash of Vikatrone Brown Sauce • salt and powdered white pepper
TURQ AU CIDE
• 8 Lidl turkey burgers, de-breadcrumbed • 25g Better’n’Butter (Lidl) • tablespoon melted Better’n’Butter • 225g Lidl Bacon Bitz, squashed together • onion cut into 16 pieces • dash of powdered white pepper • 2 sprigs fresh fern • 2 leaves • 2 cans Mega White Cider • tin mushroom slices in brine • chopped grass to garnish • salt and some more powdered white pepper
• tin of mixed fruit cocktail • another half tin mixed fruit cocktail • 20 sugar cubes (nicked from cafe table) • 8 slices Lidl Yummywhite • 2 tablespoons cider • Lidl longlife milk mixed with breadcrumbs
More Recipes aimed at Impoverished Web Designers like myself coming soon!
Jon Bardi provided a first class service from a company that did everything I wanted. No upselling, jargon or salesmanship trying to uplift the spend. All suggestions to improve the initial design concept were all valid and appreciated and we are delighted with the result. Would highly recommend Cayenne Pepper Designs and will definitely use them again.
Absolutely wow! Working with this amazing guy for over a year now and he makes life so simple. Being involved with many projects I needed someone by my side to discuss projects, to be on the same page and even receive some valuable input. All boxes ticked.
From the simplest of one page websites to complex back offc heavy E shop. A pleasure to deal with and very efficient. Price wise very competitive and quoted are discussed prior to any work carried out. I would recommend Jon to anyone. For me/us it's the persenal touches the personal service, the smile in his voice let's me know that he truly loves his profession. He's the best
Jon has designed me a fantastic website. He interpreted the brief excellently and gave me loads of useful advice. Highly recommended. I will definitely ask Cayenne Pepper Web Design to design my next website.
We literally cannot thank Jon enough. From day one, all the way through the whole process until we launched, Jon was there every step of the way. Having that piece of mind took so much stress out of our situation. We had so many unforeseen set backs due to a third party requiring us to change our website so many times, and Jon was able to talk us through how we can achieve these changes and talked us through our options. If you are looking for a web developer who is transparent, honest and will get the job done, look no further. We are so happy that we used Cayenne Pepper Design for our site. We absolutely love the results. We cannot speak highly enough . Thank you so so much Jon! Rob and Ruth!
If I could give more stars then I would. Jon was fantastic from start to finish and was a pleasure to deal with. Nothing is too much trouble and he explains things clearly without the jargon. He produced a website that was perfect for what I needed without any up-selling. He responds quickly to all communications and I thoroughly recommend him. I’ll be using him again for my next website.
Jon recently designed a website for my counselling practice. I am extremely happy with the results, as it looks professional, covers all the content that I asked for and I am proud to send my link to prospective clients. Jon is very friendly, able to answers any questions you have and works fast and efficiently to requested deadlines.. I can thoroughly recommend his service and have already done so.
Excellent website design for my firm by Jon. I came with a concept and Jon ran with it, creating a fresh bespoke site that I am very happy with. 100% recommend Cayenne Pepper if you are looking for a website to be created for you.
Jon was recommended to me through a friend. I got in touch and he turned out to be very reliable and professional, always responding to my emails without any delays. He discussed various options with me to ensure that the website suited my needs in the best possible way. He created a beautiful website for my business in a very short time. I would not hesitate to recommend Jon. I am very happy with his product.
I can not thank enough. Cayenne Pepper Design set up my online shop in short period of time providing me with all the tools needed to start online business. Highly recommended professional and knowledgeable .Thank you from PeruBabyAlpaca.
Absolutely fantastic service from start to finish. Jon is very knowledgeable and professional designer, kept in touch throughout the design process and the end product was excacly what I needed. Lots of great tips as well as very useful and easy to use handover manual at the end. Thank you again. I will definitely be back with more work.
Great service! Jon listens to what you want and delivers it with style, within set time limits and on budget. He rebuilt my gardening website from scratch and continues to update it when asked. Highly recommended.
I cannot fault Jon's work, he's been brilliant. I was using a design studio who were charging me so much to make even the smallest changes to my website. Jon's rates are too cheap in my opinion for the outstanding work he produces! I wouldn't hesitate in recommending Jon to anybody looking for a reliable and talented web designer.
Jon is brilliant to work with, he has helped me no end with websites where I have been struggling to get them to look/work the way I want them to with my limited knowledge. He responds really quickly and always has the answer I need :) I hope to be working with him a lot more.
If you want a web designer who cares about the client, where they wish to go and with the talent to deliver a quality website in a timely and professional manner, look no further than Jon and Cayenne Pepper design. He exceeds expectation and seems to intuitively understands not only what you ask for but also what you don’t.
I couldn’t recommend Jon highly enough. His service offerings are to be marveled at.
Jon was exactly the person we looked after for Sunset Immobiliare to create a perfect new website for us. Jon knows exactly what the customer needs. He helps to make the right choice and to respond to the personal wishes and implement perfectly. He is very fair and always tries to solve the problems immediately. This in all phases before, during and after the creation. A true professional whom we will warmly recommend. He will surely make all our web pages also in the future. Very well done. Thank you very much till to the next.
I am so happy to have found Jon at Cayenne Pepper Design. He has created a fantastic website for our business and completed a great deal of work in a short period of time. He delivered the project above and beyond my expectations. We now have ideal website built the way we want with all the content and product range that we were looking to get online. I have had a few websites in the past from previous business ventures and this has been my best experience by far in terms of service. Jon is patient and works with you to create the product that you have in mind and advises with expert suggestions along the way. Thank you Jon! I would be happy to recommend you to friends and colleagues.
Jon has been absolutely brilliant from start to finish with our website.
The service cayenne pepper design provide is 5 star, Jon is an amazing guy to work with and he is available 24/7 to deal with any problems. We are extremely happy with our website and cant wait to work with Jon again in the future
Jon recently built a website for my electrical business that I am extremely happy with. Jon has a great work ethic, a fantastic attitude, and above all he's a really decent guy to deal with. Even after running into problems with GoDaddys hosting package (which is completely useless btw), he kept his cool and worked through all the issues in a measured and professional manner. I cannot recommend Jon and Cayenne Pepper Web Design highly enough and if I'm ever in need of another website, he will definitely be my first call!