Today I’d like to talk to you a little about the National Lottery. You see, during this lockdown I’ve been using my time wisely and  brushing up on my HTML5 and Python and what av you.

What’s that got to do with the National Lottery? I hear you scream savagely at your monitors.

Well then peeps, I came across a simple maths program which simulates a national lottery draw. You can select your 6 numbers as normal (or select 6 random numbers if you have trouble making your mind up) , and then choose how many draws you would like to take place.

Let’s do it together now. I select 2, 7, 17, 25, 30, 44 (a mix of birthdays and lucky numbers.) I then selected 5000 draws, which is roughly how many draws I would make if I played the lottery every Saturday for the rest of my life. (Assuming I live to be 134)

I then press the button and see the results.

So… If I played the lottery every week for the next 96 years using the same numbers – this is (probably) what would happen…

Total number of draws played: 5000
Total number of draws where at least 1 number matched: 2468

Number of Single Number Matches = 1956
Number of Two Number Matches = 457
Number of Three Number Matches = 54
Number of Four Number Matches = 1
Number of Five Number Matches = 0
Number of Six Number Matches = 0

You spent: $10000
You won: $551

Yes, I know the answers are in dollars – but the principle is the same if we use pounds sterling as well:

I end up spending £10,000, and winning only £551. So I’m down £9,449.

So, all in all it’s made me a bit pessimistic about winning the lottery. Not that I was ever very optimistic, mind you. So I’ve come up with an alternative, better, and all together more exciting way to play the lottery.

JON’S ALTERNATIVE WAY TO PLAY THE NATIONAL LOTTERY.

This is how it works. You get your empty ticket as normal (you don’t part with any money at this point). You take it home, and fill it in as normal, with whatever numbers you like, and your name and address on the back etc.

But… you don’t hand it in. You sit and watch the national lottery, with the ticket in your hand. This way you are already up £1 – and your emotions are the complete opposite of the person who has spent their pound – but it will be you who gets the biggest rush!! Trust me, there’s no bigger rush that watching your first 3 numbers coming up in the knowledge that if your next 3 come up as well you could have been a millionaire if you’d handed the ticket in and paid your money.

Playing it this way, I’ve already lost out on a £10 winning ticket, but saved £18 on ticket fees.. so I’m up £8. Not bad. Not bad at all.

And I know that if my numbers ever do come up, I would have to commit suicide.

Now that’s what I call gambling!!!